Women have been talking with me lately about O's.
What is an orgasm, anyway?
It's a big deal, the pinnacle, peak, explosion, Fourth of July fireworks that occur with every sexual experience.
No, that's Hollywood. And TV. And, unfortunately, what most people consider a reasonable expectation. Or a reachable goal.
What pressure!
That's what's so interesting about this scene from the film, "When Harry Met Sally". Sally fakes a wild orgasm -- in Katz's Delicatessen. Of course, you can fake your way into orgasm. But faking can be a way to save face... your own. The problem with faking is that you are denyng yourself the experience of authentic sensations and real pleasure.
So we've discussed two Kinds of orgasm: Hollywood and Fake. And there are others: Quiet ones. Implosions. A sweeping wave. A series of waves. The boop. The little blip. "The Bells and Whistles". The inconsistent kind. The "I have to go first" one. The one that "sneaks up" on you. The sleepy O. The hide and seek. The "Go get 'em, Tiger!" The one that chooses to appear... but at another time. The surprise. The "I'm not finished" O.
So many different O's? You bet. Like snowflakes, no two O's are alike. Like fingerprints, no two arousal patterns are alike. While Masters and Johnson, and before that, Kinsey, explored and explained the cycle of sexual response, describing general patterns, we all are different. An analogy: Some of us can drive a car, yet, we all drive and experience the ride differently. Some focus on the driving, some take in the scenery, some converse, others bop to music, some use the blackberry, and.others keep asking, either out loud or to themselves, "When are we going to be there?" or "Are we there yet?" missing the scenery, or the magic of the roadtrip along the way. Sound familiar?.
So What's an O, Anyway?
Orgasm is a reflex, like a sneeze, or knee jerk reflex. It's a circuit breaker, usually accompanied by pleasure. Orgasm occurs when your body has had sufficient, effective stimulation. Orgasm, the circuit breaker, reverses the processes of arousal. Two body processes happen during arousal-- muscle tension (myotonia), since O is a full body response, and blood pooling in the genitals (vasocongestion). Orgasm occurs when your body has had sufficient, effective stimulation. The circuit breaker allows your body to return to its unaroused state.
"Is That All There Is?" as sung by Peggy Lee.
No. But that's all there is, for now....
