Hey Jud,
| What does it mean to be sexy?Cosmo and other women's magazines are always telling us how to be sexy. Their tips make being sexy, simply marketing your body to men. How can a woman be sexy without showing skin with all these types of articles and images floating around? |
Great question!
You're asking about strategies or techniques that a woman can be sexy in her own way.
Being sexy, or dressing to look sexy, has a goal of being pleasing or erotic or arousing to a man, or it's a style, such as when young teens girls wear clothes that show their (flat or slightly rounded) bellies. Women can in fact, make different choices. Consider what you could or would or might do to:
- feel sexy
- feel sexual
- feel appealing
- feel desire
- feel womanly
- express your sensuality
- express your sexiness
- express your sexuality
- express your sexual self.
This does not necessarily mean wearing clothes that bare you, but can include clothing with appealing textures, such as velvet, satin, silk, smooth velour. It can include the act of grooming, including allowing yourself to be pampered in the hair salon, accepting a glass of wine or cup of tea, reading or doing deep breathing as you get or give yourself manicures or pedicures, or shaving your legs with luxurious soap or creams while taking a bubble bath with low light and fragrant candles. Using potions and lotions afterwards can be pleasureable as well. This way, the act of grooming itself, the taking care of yourself, can be nurturing and sexy. In addition to the dressing or grooming, the part that makes this sexy, that allows you to be sexy, is the time and the focus it takes to be in the moment, rather than talking on the phone at the same time, or worrying about being late for your next meeting. The moment by moment activities give you energy, if you let them. Choosing clothing that expresses who you are can begin to move you in the direction of feeling and being sexy. For example, get rid of items in your closet, bras, underwear, jeans, t-shirts, dresses, blazers, jackets, shoes, that are worn out, frayed, stained, too big, too small, too matronly, too girlish, too old, in need of repair or replacement. That way you can streamline, so that the clothes you have will allow you to feel good about your body, reflecting your taking good care of yourself. How you stand and sit is important. Do you slouch? Do you stand with confidence, jutting out that hip? Practice walking so that you walk tall, or with a swagger. See how you feel as you look in the mirror while you move. How so you feel most sexual, in your body? How do you feel most yourself? Now push the limits, a little, since this is how and when we grow. Pretend you are standing and that you have a thousand dollars in your pocket. Pretend you have ten thousand dollars in your pocket. Now pretend you just received a check that you will deposit into your account for one million dollars. See how tall you can stand, how confidently you walk, how sexy and powerful you feel. Write a love letter to yourself. Write about what you value about yourself. All of this will move you toward appreciating yourself, and valuing your sensual, sexual, sexy self. Let me know how this seems to you, and if you begin to see changes in the way you see yourself. I'd bet that you do!
My point is that what makes you feel sexy is unique to you. These are some ideas to get you closer, or to try on, like clothing, to see what fits, or to give you other ideas. Regardless of all of these ideas, what makes you feel sexy is uniquely yours. This is your opportunity to find out, own it, celebrate it, and express your uniquely sexy, sexual self.
Thinking of you,
Jud
