Just a friend?
Hey Jud,
I have a classic problem, I am completely in love with one of my best friends. I have never had such compatibility or comfort with anyone.We can do everything together and I've practically thought it through over and over again and we just make so much sense. Occasionally he gives me a signal that our relationship is "ambiguous" but for the most part, I am almost positive he does not feel the same way. this has been going on for about 6 months...the questions is, do I tell him? even though I am 99% sure he doesn't return my feelings, maybe it will be closure? I almost can't stand to be around him anymore....help! Hey,
You are right, this is classic dilemma.
From your question, it is not clear if you are a man or a woman.Perhaps either way, it's clear you are (almost) ready to take a risk, because you are so uncomfortable with the status quo. So you get together sometime, and you open the topic.
Of course, you use your words, not mine, and where I have come out with everything, it's important to pause when you're talking to him, to take a breath, to calm yourself down, and to leave some spaces, quiet time to process what you are saying. You can say what you feel, and what is in your heart. You know, I love being with you. I feel comfortable with you and we have fun together. I don't know how you feel, but I think I would like to consider taking our relationship to the next level. I want to be more than friends. Sometimes I think you feel the same way, and other times i am sure you don't. I just need to tell you how i feel, so you know. Otherwise, I wouldn't be true to myself, and i would be denying you the real me. I have no idea how this will turn out, I might be really embarrassed, but I wanted you to know." Now, of course you want to know how he feels, but it's good to wait before you ask.And of course, you can say it all together really fas so you won't forgoet anyting and you want lethim get a word in edgewise.
Or you can write him a love letter.
Or send him a special valentine.And there are some possible results of your disclosure:
Jud
I have a classic problem, I am completely in love with one of my best friends. I have never had such compatibility or comfort with anyone.We can do everything together and I've practically thought it through over and over again and we just make so much sense. Occasionally he gives me a signal that our relationship is "ambiguous" but for the most part, I am almost positive he does not feel the same way. this has been going on for about 6 months...the questions is, do I tell him? even though I am 99% sure he doesn't return my feelings, maybe it will be closure? I almost can't stand to be around him anymore....help! Hey,
You are right, this is classic dilemma.
From your question, it is not clear if you are a man or a woman.Perhaps either way, it's clear you are (almost) ready to take a risk, because you are so uncomfortable with the status quo. So you get together sometime, and you open the topic.
Of course, you use your words, not mine, and where I have come out with everything, it's important to pause when you're talking to him, to take a breath, to calm yourself down, and to leave some spaces, quiet time to process what you are saying. You can say what you feel, and what is in your heart. You know, I love being with you. I feel comfortable with you and we have fun together. I don't know how you feel, but I think I would like to consider taking our relationship to the next level. I want to be more than friends. Sometimes I think you feel the same way, and other times i am sure you don't. I just need to tell you how i feel, so you know. Otherwise, I wouldn't be true to myself, and i would be denying you the real me. I have no idea how this will turn out, I might be really embarrassed, but I wanted you to know." Now, of course you want to know how he feels, but it's good to wait before you ask.And of course, you can say it all together really fas so you won't forgoet anyting and you want lethim get a word in edgewise.
Or you can write him a love letter.
Or send him a special valentine.And there are some possible results of your disclosure:
- You will continue to be friends,
- You will continue to be friends after an uncomfortable time period.
- You will become lovers.
- You will get married and live happily ever after.
- You will get married and then get divorced.
- You will become lovers and decide you would rather be friends. Remember that kiss in "27 Dresses"?
- You will become lovers and break up and then not even be friends.
Jud
