Hotel Romeo
Hi Jud,
okay everytime my boyfriend and I go out which is once a week during my day off we end up in a hotel. Things are not like before. We used to go to the movies, eat together, sit at the park but now we don't even do that.What can I do to change this? I want him to love me for the person I am not for the sex we have.
You feel powerless. You are asking me how to change a situation where, now, instead of going to the movies, eat together, or sit int he park, you go directly to a hotel. Some couples would call this heaven, but you do not.
So you have an imbalance in your relationship. Let me ask you, in kindness, where is your voice? What is stopping you from telling your boyfriend exactly what you told me? I might word it differently, in a more positive way. Of course you use your words, but something more like: "Honey, I love being with you on my day off, and we have so much fun making love and being together at the hotel. I was thinking that it would be great to spend my days off a little differently to change it up a bit. What about if I make a picnic lunch and we eat it in the park. The weather's improving, spring is around the corner, we could be together in a different way, and we'd save a lot of money, too."
You will never know how he will respond until you tell him what you want. Take the risk, and see what happens. You have a right to ask for what you want. The more you ask, the more likely you are to get what you want. So, what can you do differently? Be brave! Talk with your boyfriend in a way that doesn't criticize him or his ideas, or even your routine, but that also supports your sense of adventure.
Thank you for writing,
Jud
