Hey Jud,
In your last post about Chris and Rihanna, you talked about problem solving strategies for arguments, and I wondered what are some to use....

Great question-- Here are some a few to consider trying:

• Think about the different between responding and reacting.  Reacting is using a knee-jerk reflex.  Someone days to you, You always leave your socks on the floor, and you, feeling criticized, react to the criticism and to the word "always", and say or yell, "I do not!"    An alternative would be to BREATHE, and to even agree, saying, "Yes, my socks are there, sorry, I'll move them now, diffusing rather than escalating the issue.
• Make an agreement to have no name-calling, since that's inflammatory.
• Stay in the here and now with this particular disagreement, and not say, "You always....", or "You never....".  "Always" and "never" are red flags.
• Rather than say, "You...", "You...", You...", which sounds accusing, to say, "I feel.... " and then fill in the feeling, such as angry, annoyed, scared, anxious "...when you....", or"I don't like it when you....".
• If one of you says that the Yankees are the best team, and the other person says it's the Mets, you will never convince each other, so to say, Yankees, no, Mets, over and over, creating a shouting match is ridiculous and un- or counterproductive.  In this instance, you can easily end the discussion, knowing that you will not convince the other, by choosing to agree to disagree.

These are only some strategies to use, but I guarantee they can give you a good start!
Thank you for asking,
Jud