My cousin has grown very fond of this man. She would like this relationship to be more intimate, but she senses that he is afraid. (They are affectionate, but no "sex.") How can she encourage him without being pushy? Would medication help him? How could she mention all this in a non-threatening way? She doesn't want to embarrass him or scare him.
--Concerned cousin

Dear Concerned Cousin,
Your concern for your cousin is evident.  How wonderful for her to have you, whom she trusts, and for her to be in a new relationship with someone special at this point in her life.

I wonder if they are both giving and getting pleasure. Perhaps if this is the case, this is enough for him. But she won't know unless they open up to one another with their words and feelings, which can be for more intimate than touching..

Her partner may be fearful of many things, being "unfaithful" to his former wife, not getting or keeping erections. Who knows? You cousin may have fears that deserve talking about as well.

I know you mentioned medication, but communication needs to come before medication.

Perhaps a starter such as, "I love being with you, and I love being close you. Even closer.  Can we talk about what that could mean for each of us?  It's really important to me" but in her own words, would be just what the doctor ordered. 

As we age, as well as we are young, we have an idea of how sex SHOULD be, and anything else makes us feel cheated. 

On the other hand, if we are open to what we do have and what we are feeling, we can let in a whole lot more pleasure than we even imagine.

With pleasure,
Jud